My Top Ten Favorite Quotes by Joan Rivers – R I P Joan Rivers


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I just heard the news of Joan Rivers’ death. I am saddened and I wish comfort and peace to her loved ones. She was a very funny woman who spoke her mind and that’s something I always admired. Here are a few of my favorite Joan Rivers quotes:

1. “The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.”

2. “I’ve had so much plastic surgery, when I die they will donate my body to Tupperware.”

3. “I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.”

4. “People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.”

5. “Don’t tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won’t respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, ‘Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep.”

6. “I’m Jewish. I don’t work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.”

7. “I have no methods; all I do is accept people as they are.”

8. “Boy George is all England needs – another queen who can’t dress.”

9. “I was smart enough to go through any door that opened.”

10. “I’ve learned from my dealings with Johnny Carson that no matter what kind of friendship you think you have with people you’re working with, when the chips are down, it’s all about business.”

May she rest in peace and may her funeral be everything she dreamed it would be.

#RIPJoanRivers

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Published by Alistair Cross

Alistair Cross grew up on horror novels and scary movies, and by the age of eight, began writing his own stories. First published in 2012, he has since co-authored The Cliffhouse Haunting and Mother with Tamara Thorne and is working on several other projects. His debut solo novel, The Crimson Corset, was an Amazon bestseller. The Black Wasp, book 3 in The Vampires of Crimson Cove series is on its way. Find out more about him at: http://alistaircross.com ********************************************************************************************* In collaboration, Thorne and Cross are currently writing several novels, including the next volume in the continuing gothic series, The Ravencrest Saga. Their first novel, The Cliffhouse Haunting, was an immediate bestseller. Together, they hosted the horror-themed radio show Thorne & Cross: Haunted Nights LIVE! which featured such guests as Anne Rice of The Vampire Chronicles, Charlaine Harris of the Southern Vampire Mysteries and basis of the HBO series True Blood, Jeff Lindsay, author of the Dexter novels, Jay Bonansinga of The Walking Dead series, Laurell K. Hamilton of the Anita Blake novels, Peter Atkins, screenwriter of Hellraiser 2, 3, and 4, worldwide bestseller V.C. Andrews, Kim Harrison of the Hollows series, and New York Times best sellers Preston & Child, Christopher Rice, and Christopher Moore. ********************************************************************************************** Currently, Thorne & Cross are hosts of Thorne & Cross: Carnival Macabre, where listeners can discover all manner of demented delights, unearth terrifying treasures, and explore the dark side of the arts.

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