The Babysitter, Andrew Coburn, 1979
My favorite quote: “What I’m saying, Mr. Wright, is we don’t know who the hell she was. We don’t even know for sure Paula Aherne was her name.”
Most interesting characters: Paula Aherne, the babysitter; John and Merle Wright, the parents of the missing child; agents Cooger and Spence, the investigators
Opening scene: John and Merle Wright return home from seeing a movie to find their babysitter slaughtered and their baby missing. Needless to say, I was 100% invested on page one. No easy feat, but Andrew Coburn makes it look easy. I would have liked to see a little more blood, and perhaps a severed head or at least a protruding butcher knife, but meh — I guess you can’t have it all
Greatest strengths: Andrew Coburn’s depiction of Boston’s North End sent me to a different time and place. His descriptions of the city’s seedy underbelly made me feel like I needed a bath. A long hot one with one of those scented bath-bomb thingies that makes the water all fizzy and tickly. But one that smells like pine or gunpowder or tobacco or steak or something so I feel can still feel all manly about it
Standout achievements: The Babysitter (and by that I mean the book and the babysitter herself) is full of surprises. As the story progresses, it’s revealed that the babysitter (the actual babysitter, not the book) has been living a secret life — in fact, Paula Aherne wasn’t even her real name. Well done, Andrew Coburn — I didn’t see that coming …
Fun Facts: Andrew Coburn was the author of 13 novels, three of which were adapted into films. The Babysitter isn’t one of them — which kinda pisses me off
Other media: None. Not so much as poorly-made Lifetime version — *shakes fist angrily at whatever Fates have allowed this injustice* There. I did what I could, Andrew Coburn …
What it taught me: In The Babysitter, Andrew Coburn taught me that extremely brave characters (even if they’re bordering on foolishly so) make for great storytelling. The Babysitter is brimming with such characters. Sometimes you want to shake them and scream, “NO!! I just can’t take it anymore!!” and then you realize they aren’t real and that everyone at your Aunt Florence’s funeral is staring at you and you have to throw yourself over the coffin, weeping hysterically, to keep up appearances
How it inspired me: While The Babysitter isn’t anything like my own books, it reminds me not to flinch away from letting my stories take unexpected turns. It seemed to work out for Andrew Coburn pretty well in this book. Not his characters, though. It didn’t work out well for them at all. They ended up with a dead babysitter in their living room which — let’s be honest — would pretty much suck
Additional thoughts: Despite the cover art, fans of 80s horror will be disappointed in The Babysitter. It’s a good book for what it actually is (more crime/noir than horror) but unfortunately, the packaging is pretty misleading which irritates a lot of people and makes them leave bad reviews. My guess is that horror was super hot at the time so the publisher coerced Andrew Coburn into approving this cheesy-vintage-horror cover, which probably gave them (the publisher) the idea that they could win all their little battles and letting them think they could wield their power willy-nilly, which likely left Andrew Coburn feeling downtrodden, disenchanted, and questioning his life choices. Just a guess, of course
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Alistair Cross 