The Guide to Getting it On by Paul Joannides

The Guide to Getting it On, Paul Joannides, 2009

My favorite quote: “Morality, from this Guide’s perspective, is respecting and caring for your fellow human beings. It has little to do with the way you enjoy your sexuality, unless what you do breaks a special trust or violates the rights of others.”

Most interesting characters: As a non-fiction book, Paul Joannides’ The Guide to Getting it on really only has one character and that’s you, you big perv 

Opening scene: The Guide to Getting it On begins its merry jaunt into the frolicsome and tawdry with a warning and disclaimer explaining the purpose of the Guide — which, by the way, is not to act as a definitive authority on sex, but as an informative sex-centric sidekick to those who wish to expand their sexual consciousness 

The gist: The Guide to Getting it on reads like the Kama Sutra and The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy had a baby out of wedlock. Funny, informative, and sexy, Paul Joannides’ The Guide to Getting it On covers everything from sex toys to STDs to sexual orientation, romance, and pregnancy, with a heavy dose of information on basic human anatomy, oral, anal, manual, and solo sex. And it has pictures. Cute ones 

Greatest strengths: Unlike so many of its kin, The Guide to Getting it On pays equal attention to both male and female sexuality, addressing issues of concern for both sexes with the same playful enthusiasm and wit. It celebrates rather than shames sexuality, making room for everyone, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, or erotic appetites. In short, The Guide to Getting it On isn’t a judgy directory of dos and do-nots, nor is it a dry manual of flavorless facts. It’s fun, honest, and uncomplicated. And it has pictures. Cute ones 

Standout achievements: I’ve never seen better chapter titles than those in The Guide to Getting it On. A few of my favorites are: The Importance of Getting Naked, Intercourse: Horizontal Jogging, Dead Wood — Boner Down!, The Internet Killed the Plumber in Porn, Fun with a Foreskin, and Choking During Sex is as Dangerous as a Police Chokehold   

Fun Facts: When Paul Joannides’ penned The Guide to Getting it On, he wasn’t fooling around. For all its sparkling jocularity, The Guide to Getting it On is as educational as it is entertaining, including topics and ideas contributed by psychologists, lawyers, writers, sex workers, over 10,000 survey-takers, and more. That’s a lot of sex-talk 

Other media: I don’t see how The Guide to Getting it On could be a movie or a video game, but if they ever made tarot cards out of the illustrations, I would become a full-time fortune-teller, stat

Additional thoughts: With The Guide to Getting it On, Paul Joannides did more than write a sex manual — he brought sex back to what this reviewer believes it always should have been: fun, healthy, approachable, and open-minded. The Guide to Getting it On takes the sting out of the “S” word and doesn’t take itself too seriously. And it has pictures. Cute ones

Hit or Miss: I’d hit it. Again. Oh yeahhhh …  

Haunt me:

Read Paul Joannides’ The Guide to Getting it On


Published by Alistair Cross

Alistair Cross grew up on horror novels and scary movies, and by the age of eight, began writing his own stories. First published in 2012, he has since co-authored The Cliffhouse Haunting and Mother with Tamara Thorne and is working on several other projects. His debut solo novel, The Crimson Corset, was an Amazon bestseller. The Black Wasp, book 3 in The Vampires of Crimson Cove series is on its way. Find out more about him at: ********************************************************************************************* In collaboration, Thorne and Cross are currently writing several novels, including the next volume in the continuing gothic series, The Ravencrest Saga. Their first novel, The Cliffhouse Haunting, was an immediate bestseller. Together, they hosted the horror-themed radio show Thorne & Cross: Haunted Nights LIVE! which featured such guests as Anne Rice of The Vampire Chronicles, Charlaine Harris of the Southern Vampire Mysteries and basis of the HBO series True Blood, Jeff Lindsay, author of the Dexter novels, Jay Bonansinga of The Walking Dead series, Laurell K. Hamilton of the Anita Blake novels, Peter Atkins, screenwriter of Hellraiser 2, 3, and 4, worldwide bestseller V.C. Andrews, Kim Harrison of the Hollows series, and New York Times best sellers Preston & Child, Christopher Rice, and Christopher Moore. ********************************************************************************************** Currently, Thorne & Cross are hosts of Thorne & Cross: Carnival Macabre, where listeners can discover all manner of demented delights, unearth terrifying treasures, and explore the dark side of the arts.

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